Living out loud and speaking my truth are non-negotiable in my book, now that I have regained my autonomy and freedom from the gaslighting and silencing that occurs within a relationship with a narcissist.
As a survivor of early childhood trauma and having developed a core wound of abandonment soon after, I found myself, in my adult life, with an anxious attachment style where I couldn’t manage to shake the desire to feel worthy and validated by my partner.
This conditioning landed me in a string of long-term relationships accepting far less than what I deserved, for fear of abandonment and being alone. But Just when I thought I’d figured my attachment style and inner child wounds out and decided I was done with less than impressive men, the universe decided to throw a whole narcissistic-sociopath my way as the ultimate test. So here I was, just like, “okay universe, I’m trying my best to deeply and completely trust you …but are you serious right now? You’re kidding me right ? I was okay with kissing a few frogs, but you never said anything about a snake!” And, just like that, my world was turned completely upside down as I was trauma bonded and thrashed around in the vortex of emotional abuse with zero knowledge of what exactly I was experiencing.
Eventually things became so unbearable that I crawled my way out of that relationship with cptsd, a panic disorder, hypervigilance, and adrenal fatigue as battle wounds to show for it. I quickly learned that I couldn’t just think my way into healing after a year of reading self-help books as my body’s ability to manage my anxiety completely crashed. My symptoms were so visceral that doctors where constantly checking my heart, my thyroid glands, and running endless tests to try to wrap their minds around what on earth was causing me to physically unravel and experience panic attacks daily. I Was on the verge of giving up on ever feeling normal, healthy and happy again until one day the universe decided that it was time for me to learn that everything that I was experiencing had a Devine purpose .
One evening I was googling my symptoms (which had become a daily exhausting practice) and I stumbled upon an article from a self proclaimed ‘realized Empath‘. She was speaking about her journey from a life of chaos with multiple narcissists that led to adrenal fatigue, and her nervous system ‘giving out‘ like a car part that needed to be replaced. And it was through this article that I finally realized what I was suffering from… ‘Trauma’. I frantically read through dozens of similar stories and I finally realized this was not only emotional, but physical, mental and spiritual. To actually heal I had to align all four of these parts of my being. So I Immediately ordered as many textbooks as I possibly could about how to heal your body and more specifically your nervous system, which coupled with mindfulness and very attainable life changing modalities would inevitably connect my mind, body and spirit once again.
It was an absolute upheaval learning exactly how to recover from narcissistic abuse and childhood trauma that had been suppressed in my body for almost three decades, but I wouldn’t trade the events that led to my ascension, as I am healthier and more fulfilled than I have ever been. Having this lived experience, it should come as no surprise exactly why I’ve found my purpose In becoming an expert on the ‘Stephen King like nightmare’ of narcissistic abuse, and help survivors navigate this healing process. Today, nothing is more important to me than to be the light I desperately needed when I was in a dark and confusing place. I have since embarked on an infinite healing journey of my mind, body and soul that has led me to alchemizing my ideal life, in a place that I love, engaged to the Man of my dreams, and manifesting my goals daily. I have managed to harness the healing blueprint, energy, and alchemy that helped me rebuild myself from that painful experience as well as my childhood trauma, and I am excited to share it with you here through Love Bombed MD. Are you ready to heal for real, live your ideal life , and manifest the love you’ve always dreamed of?